VEN (BOLLYWOOD) — Ever since she was a little girl, tomboy Nimrata Randhawa enjoyed climbing trees and working on outboard motors and automobile transmissions.

“Acting like a man, made me feel more like a girl,” Ms Randhawa told VEN‘s Senior Gender-Neutral Correspondent Edward Wood during a brisk game of 8-ball at Ginger’s in Brooklyn Tuesday, which Ms Randhawa won easily to the delight of her Sapphic entourage.

“Men are idiots.  And that’s where I come in.  My job is to remind them that they need to take out the trash, cut the grass, open jars, and get things off high places.  Like a Sikh guru,  I trained my voice to sound worse than finger nails on a blackboard.  And boy can I be mean!”

She affects a dead-eye thousand yard stare.

“For those who don’t have our backs, we’re taking names.  Not bad, right?

She repeats the line, only more ominously this time.

“F^^^ng scared you a little bit, right?  (laughs)  F^^^ing men.  You’re such a bunch of pussies!”

So how does she feel about voicing Petruchio in the new Disney Taming of The Shrew?

“I told them the character needs balls, OK, so I played him as a woman.  I out-shrewed the shrew.

“When I think of Kate I think of the UN General Assembly, and I just let her f^^^ing have it, like I’m f^^^ing  Leona Helmsley  in drag and I just got my tax bill!”

Developing . . . .