VEN EXCLUSIVE! I Don’t Want to Che Goodbye for the Summer — Did Naughty Nan’s Nutso Co-Ed Crush Trigger Cuban Missile Crisis? Continue reading →
BREAKING! Coffee Makes Me Nervous When I Drink It, Mmhm — John “Sling Blade” Fettermen Injured In Dancing with the Stars Mishap! Continue reading →
“They Say a Martini Is Like a Woman’s Breast — One Ain’t Enough and Three Is Too Many. End of Quote. Repeat the Line.” Continue reading →
We Are Not Amused — Royal Groom of the Stool Assigned to President Buttons Hospitalized, May Never Walk Again! Continue reading →
Buttons to Brits at State Funeral for the Queen — I Like Watermelon But It Wets My Ears! Continue reading →
For the Thunder Has Abandoned Us, Like a Migrating Bird It Has Gone — The Penguin Lounge Is Destroyed, Bitter Is Our Lament! Continue reading →
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 