VEN EXCLUSIVE! Living-Challenged Voters Voice Concerns Over Potential Voter Fraud in Upcoming Midterm Elections! Continue reading →
BREAKING! John Fetterman Denies Pumpkin Rumors As Calls for Medical Records Increase! Continue reading →
There He Goes, There He Goes Again! Is Buttons’ Diphenoxylate Addiction a Threat to National Security? Continue reading →
VEN EXCLUSIVE! I Don’t Want to Che Goodbye for the Summer — Did Naughty Nan’s Nutso Co-Ed Crush Trigger Cuban Missile Crisis? Continue reading →
BREAKING! Coffee Makes Me Nervous When I Drink It, Mmhm — John “Sling Blade” Fettermen Injured In Dancing with the Stars Mishap! Continue reading →
“They Say a Martini Is Like a Woman’s Breast — One Ain’t Enough and Three Is Too Many. End of Quote. Repeat the Line.” Continue reading →
We Are Not Amused — Royal Groom of the Stool Assigned to President Biden Hospitalized, May Never Walk Again! Continue reading →
Buttons to Brits at State Funeral for the Queen — I Like Watermelon But It Wets My Ears! Continue reading →
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 