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VEN (DAVOS) — In what may have been another semi-erotic not-so-therapeutic massage gone terribly wrong, former vice president and paraphilic climate alarmist Al Gore allegedly assaulted an underage Ukrainian escort at his luxury hotel suit in Davos, Switzerland Friday evening in what Swiss authorities are calling “a very alarming allegation.”

According to unnamed sources, the fifteen-year-old escort Oksana Rostova (not her real name), arrived at Mr Gore’s suite to find the Davos habitué devouring an unusually large roasted beet salad and drinking copious amounts of Chasselas wine that he was mixing with Perrier and freshly-squeezed lemon juice.

“He looked deranged,” Ms Rostova told authorities. “Like someone possessed of a climate demon!”

At some point Mr Gore retrieved a boom box from another room and began playing a cassette tape of Prince’s Purple Rain on a loop at deafening volume, while dancing and swaying awkwardly to the music “as if in a trance.”

Then he disrobed.

“The rest is too horrible to relate!” Ms Rostova’s manageress, Madame Lyubov Andreievna Ranevskaya, told VEN‘s Senior International Improbity Correspondent John Jones. “The poor girl was utterly traumatized, her towels, her clothing — Oh, là, Monsieur! C’était dégueulasse!“

This bizarre incident was similar to an equally bizarre incident that allegedly occurred almost two years ago in Cabo San Lucas, in which a peripatetic Mr Gore allegedly followed a young Mexican girl on the Playa el Faro for some minutes, until finally — unable to control himself any longer — grabbed the girl by the wrist, asking if she had ever seen the ocean boil through a porthole, and then offering to take her aboard his luxury yacht for a fresh remolacha salad, a lecture on the catastrophic dangers of climate change, and a súper especial massage.

Developing . . . .