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VEN (WASHNGTON, DC) — Ever wonder where all that “free” fresh air and sunshine comes from? According to President Trump, we get all of our fresh air and sunshine from Canada and China, which has destroyed the fresh air and sunshine industry in the United States.

As Mr Trump explained to reporters Sunday morning:

“You watch the weather on FOX or lying CNN because they talk, the weather girls talk, lots of talk. They talk, you don’t have to read, OK? because they talk, it’s called giving you the weather, and when they give you the weather there’s this big beautiful map of America behind them. Very big map. Huge map. And when you look at the map, and the girl, the weather girl, is using her hands talking and also looking at the map, what do you see?

“Well, if it’s raining in California on Monday, it’ll be raining in Chicago on Tuesday and on Wednesday — even if you have plans — it’ll be raining in New York. They tell me it’s called isobars. Lots of isobars. Big beautiful isobars. And where do these isobars come from? From Alabama? From Youngstown? From Detroit? (we love Detroit).

“No, they come from China! And when it starts getting cold outside, they come from Canada! China and Canada. All those isobars. Hot and cold isobars. Big isobar imbalance! Do we make our own isobars anymore? No, we rely on isobars from China! And Canada! (which really should be our 51st state) and in some cases Vietnam! But they refuse to take isobars from the United States. Mexico refuses. China refuses. No US isobars. They send them to us, but they won’t reciprocate, they won’t take our isobars.

“I told Xi, this isobar imbalance has to stop. It’s hurting America. Tariffs are the first step. But we’re also looking into reversing the rotation of Earth, OK? We don’t really want to do that, but we’re looking into it. Because when it comes to isobars, believe me we are getting ripped off bigly!”

How the new isobar tariffs will affect Americans remains unclear, but VEN‘s Chief Meteorological Correspondent C. H. D. Buys Ballot, believes that the Department of Homeland Security will at some point be installing fresh air and sunshine meters on residential properties, and that contrary to criticisms from fiscal conservatives in Congress, the isobar tariffs will only add an average of 12,000.00 USD to the new federal property tax being proposed by Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA).

Developing . . . .