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VEN (WASHINGTON, DC) — Anonymous White House sources tell VEN that the Secret Service is once again investigating how someone was able to replace the Diet-Coke-flavored candies in President Trump’s special PEZ dispenser with 10mg Adderall tablets, causing the president to stay up for 48 hours binge watching both a Clint Eastwood festival on Turner Classic Movies (TCM) and a Warner Brother’s Looney Tunes Best of Compilation, gifted to him by Benjamin Netanyahu after Mr Trump gave Israel 12.5 billion dollars — disguised as military aid — for reasons that still remain unclear.

As one junior staffer told VEN‘s Senior White House Conspiracy Correspondent Carl Kolchak, “Susie Miles takes away his cellphone after 6:00, but he gets Kash Patel to buy him burners at Radio Shack under the name John Barron so he can post to Truth Social no matter how late he stays up. It’s a big problem.”

During his weekend movie binge, Mr Trump apparently found Escape from Alcatraz so compelling that he intends to issue an Executive Order returning the dilapidated island prison to service, with much-needed security updates “to ensure that Clint Eastwood never escapes again.”

“Unfortunately, the President is unaware of our vast complex of supermax prisons,” a senior Republican Congressman told VEN Monday morning. “So a bunch of us are trying to convince Susie to get Elon to load the award-winning documentary The Worst of the Worst: Portrait of a Supermax Prison onto Trump’s phone. She’s not 100% on board yet, though, since the President prefers docudramas to documentaries, and after the AI Trump-as-pope joke photo that was circulating in the West Wing went public she doesn’t want to get yelled at again.”

Ironically, as much as the President loved Escape from Alcatraz, he absolutely hated Cinema Paradiso which — at the urging of Lysenko Award Winning Economist,  Peter Navarro — he tried to watch late Sunday night. However, since the dialogue is in Italian and he finds it almost impossible to read subtitles Mr Trump stopped watching the film after only 5 minutes and immediately issued 100% tariffs on movies not made in the United States.

Developing ….