VEN (ATLANTA) — After failing to respond for over six hours to a power outage that shut down the busiest airport in the world, Atlanta’s  Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, stranding thousands of passengers in the dark and causing the cancellation of thousands of flights, Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed denied rumors that he was smoking crack cocaine in the basement of The Landing Strip Lounge with stripper girlfriend DeLa’RonShell Adams, known professionally as Comet,  during the crisis.

“The man only got two more weeks in office.  Was he try’n to chase a little tail, enjoy hizzelf, chillax, like any man in his position would do?  Hell no!  He was in the mayor’s office with his staff, tryin’ to figure out what the hell was goin’ on!” mayoral spokesperson Charles Templeton told reporters Monday.

“And let’s not forget — that like many of us — he had a problem with cell reception, and three of his top aides were either out sick or investigating other issues of concern to the city of Atlanta at the time.

“The man was literally flying blind!

“Ain’t no way he or anybody else could have foreseen this!”