Walmart Manager Facing 200 Years In Prison For Trying To Cop A Feel When He Was 15

VEN (Lynn, MA) — A 55-year-old recovering heroin addict who once dreamed of being an astronaut,  had her life put on hold 40 years ago when her homecoming date — now  a married Walmart Manager with three children — attempted to grope her in the backseat of his father’s 1976 Pontiac Grand Prix, after they shared several shots of Peppermint Schnapps and a six pack of  Old Milwaukee beer.

“I told him NO!  And he immediately backed off.  But the damage was done.  When I got home the next morning,  I ripped up my application to NASA, dropped out of high school a year later, married a biker,  and became a counter girl at Ricky’s Pizza ‘N Subs in Lynn.

“Because of him, I never went to the Moon. He should be in jail for the rest of his life!”

Gloria Allred, who is representing the woman in her civil suit against her client’s alleged abuser,  Walmart, the City of Lynn, NASA, the State of Massachusetts, and Wonderbra, told reporters Friday that she has a signed Christmas card from her client’s alleged abuser apologizing for “trying to get to second base”  during their “wicked hot” make-out session.

Additionally, Essex County Assistant District Attorney Hamilton Burger told reporters Friday that in Massachusetts there is no statue of limitations for Spontaneous Teenage Attempted Fondling (STAF), and that the crime — a Class AA felony —  carries a sentence of between one and two hundred years in a maximum security prison without the possibility of parole.

Developing . . . .