VEN (SEOUL) —  On Friday, His Most Supreme Highest Scoring And Incomparably Adorable Majestic Leader threatened to send 500,000 “very unreasonable” women soldiers to the frontline to nag, complain, and viciously berate South Korean and US forces,  if the United States attacks North Korea.

“Rets see how Donral rikes that!” a smugly belligerent Kim Jong-un bragged to reporters.

According to former South Korean President Lee Myung-bak,  deploying women combatants is nothing new for Communist North Korea.

“In the past,” Mr Myung-bak explained, “members of the elite Pyongyang Majestic Sorceresses  — the North Korean equivalent of the US Navy Seals  — have infiltrated South Korean Army barracks on several occasions, stolen cell phones, and called everyone in the address books claiming to be girlfriends or escorts.

“This created chaos, as many soldiers immediately  went AWOL trying to make amends with loved ones.”

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