BREAKING! Family Man Elijah Cummings Dies of Tertiary Syphilis!

VEN (WASHINGTON) VEN’s award-winning senior investigative reporter Charles Tatum confirmed Friday, that the treponema pallidum so-called virus that killed mentally-challenged, ethically-compromised, frequently amygdala-highjacked

former Congressman Elijah Cummings (D-MD), is not a rare strain of the common swine flu virus as reported by CNN, but in fact a virulent spirochete bacterium that causes syphilis, and that Mr Cummings died of complications from the ravages of that disease, which he is believed to have contracted in a sporting house somewhere in Anacostia, where he was often seen in the company of veteran sex workers drinking Chambord and Grapico cocktails in the lounge of the once-exclusive Hotel Lorraine.

VEN is also reporting that the hospice where the congressman died has been declared a Hot Zone hazmat area, and that at least 15 hospice workers — five of whom are in critical condition — have been medivac’ed to the Virulent STD Ward of John’s Hopkins hospital in Baltimore.

Famed Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico Built With Funds Donated by the Ted Kennedy Chlamydia Foundation, in 2015

“The man just exploded like a rotten pear,” one hospice worker told reporters. “It was like — Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus! — like something out of The Exorcist!

Meanwhile, in what may be a related story, missing-in-action Congresswoman Maxine Waters was spotted Tuesday entering the Teodoro Kennedy Clinica de Alcohol y Sifilis Terciaria in downtown Tijuana with Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris and a small entourage of what appeared to be DNC and CIA operatives.

Developing . . . .