VEN (WASHINGTON) — VEN‘s Senior Washington Correspondent Chuck Tatum caught up with beleaguered Senator Corey Booker (D-NJ) Wednesday, outside his campaign headquarters 
at the Gender-Neutral Mens Room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building.
What follows is a part one of Tatum’s On The Fly interview:
VEN — Senator Booker?
Corey Booker — If this is about the petting zoo allegations, I have nothing to say at this time.
VEN — Well, actually, Senator, this is about the anonymous allegation that you assaulted a young gay man in a bathroom demanding sex.
CB — That was T-Bone. T-Bone did that.
VEN — Your imaginary friend?
CB — Look, I have no recollection of that incident. I was under a doctor’s care for stress during that time and was taking high doses of Ambien to help me sleep — and NOT crack cocaine as reported in the alt-right media.
The side effects caused me to do all sorts of things I don’t remember, like going to gay bars, dressing up in motorcycle leather, and spending a lot of time at Pitchers and Catchers in Dupont Circle.
VEN — And demanding sex from a stranger in a mens room?
CB — I’m fairly certain I was in Key West at that time.
But I have no recollection of that event.
Or running for Governor of Newark. I also have no recollection of ever having been governor, and was actually living in New York City at the time. In fact, I’m not even sure I could find Newark on a map!
Look, I wouldn’t even know where New Jersey is, if I hadn’t binge-watched The Sopranos.
VEN — Senator — I can’t help noticing. Are you holding bomb making equipment in your hand, and a self-addressed stamped manila envelope?
CB — What? This stuff? It’s not real. It’s a prop. It’s part of my Halloween costume. I’m dressing up as Tamerlan Tsarnaev, and my senate gff Kamala Harris is gonna be his brother, Dzhokar.
Look — the timer isn’t even real! Do you think I would actually email myself a fake bomb? Why would anyone do that? Especially 14 days before the midterm elections? That’s just crazy!
Developing . . . .
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 