You’ve Got Mail!

VEN (WASHINGTON) — During a cocktail party in Alexandria Tuesday evening, Senior VEN White House Correspondent Dirk Diggler was handed a partial transcript of an email exchange between senior members of President Trump’s staff.

VEN reached out to the Awan brothers here and in Pakistan, who confirmed that the transcript was accurate, and offered to sell VEN the entire email exchange, as well as the private cell numbers of 100 Congressmen and 10 years of Nancy Pelosi’s Mayflower Hotel receipts for 250,000.00 (USD).

Our legal team is currently reviewing  their offer.

The following is the partial email transcript given to Mr Diggler and vetted by VEN:

mouch-an — Memo To Comm Staff!!

Good morning to everyone except Sean.  Hey all you sh!t sippers — and especially you RP. You f^^^ing leak one more time and I will personally F^^^ YOU UP!

bann-st — re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

Message garbled in transmission.  Please resend.

mouch-an — re re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

Sucking your own d^^^ again, pal?  Read the f^^^ing memo.  It’s very clear.

prieb-re — re re re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

Hey guys, can’t we all just TRY to get along?  That would be super!

kac — re re re re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

Reince — can you have IT look at my laptop?  Have you on auto-delete since Jan, but this email ( see below ) just came across.  Thx! 

mouch-an — re re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

KG you were f***ing AWESOME last night!  Marone!   BTW — Did I leave my Rolex at your place?

prieb-re — FYI

Maggie, looks like the Mooch and FOX’s Kimberly Guilfoyle (KG) are an item.  See email below.  FYI, he’s still married.  Hope this helps, R.

mcma-hr — Good News!

Tell Soros DJT is having an affair with Kimberly Guilfoyle, one of those FOX bimbos. This should turn his base against him.  Pence is read in, ready to go.

powe-di — LMAO!

Huma, you’re not gonna believe this!  DJT can’t keep it in his pants, apparently.  Great news for HRC.  See below!  Can WAPO lead with this?

muel-ro — re: Good News!

Thanks, Herb.  We’re on it.  Just got off the phone with Zucker.

mouch-an — re re re: Memo To Comm Staff!!

Reince, if you have a few minutes, the President would like to meet with you right now.  Thanks. — WTF?

Reince, my emails to you are bouncing back?  Ping me if you get this.  Otherwise, will call yr burner.

mouch-an — Thanks, KG!

Great idea!  Worked better than I could have possibly imagined.  Say hi to Ronan for me. All the best!