KNN (LOS ANGELES) — According to unnamed sources in Los Gatos, California, lawyers for the Alt Right Pro-Trump Neo-Nazi organization Die Progressive! have filed a brief with the 9th District Court Of Appeals, hoping to overturn a lower court ruling that enjoined Die Progressive! from exhuming the body of Bozo The Clown.
“We believe that there is compelling new evidence not considered by the coroner during the initial autopsy that will prove beyond a shadow of doubt that Bozo The Clown did not die of natural causes, but was in fact poisoned,” Die Progressive! spokesperson Klaus Adler told KNN. “I want to stress again, this has nothing to do with trying to establish Chelsea Clinton’s or anyone else’s paternity.”
The Bozo family calls these claims “ridicalus!”
“This is just so much confetti,” cousin SPANX The Clown told KNN’s Italo Swevo.
“As everyone knows — and I was there! — Bozo died tragically in a circus parade accident in Cleveland. He tripped over a shorter clown who had stopped suddenly, pretending to tie his over-sized shoes, and fell down. Before Bozo could stand up again, a huge bull elephant — spooked by Bozo’s bright red hair — stepped on him repeatedly, mistaking him for a lit cigarette butt.”