Oh, Canada! Faith Goldy Cast In Toronto Remake of Mr Smith Goes To Washington!

VEN (TORONTO) —  In a shocking reference to his shadow-banned populist opponent Faith Goldy, unmerry wanderer and incumbent Toronto alt-npc mayor John Tory, told reporters Thursday that Toronto was not ready for a girl mayor who was “prettier and smarter than Justin Trudeau.”

Speaking outside his campaign headquarters at the Jihadi Victory Mosque in Thorncliffe Park, Mr Tory refused to denounce Canadian print and broadcast media for refusing to air Ms Goldy’s campaign advertisements.

“She’s just a girl.  No one wants to hear what a girl  has to say.  It’s just girl stuff, like my daughters talk on their smart phones.  It doesn’t mean anything.  And you get a headache listening to it.

“I mean who wants to hear about patriotism?  Or Toronto first? That’s the sort of thing my grand-daughters would discuss whilst playing with their Barbies, eh?

NPCs for John Tory rally attracts dozens of supporters!

“We’re doing the people of Toronto a great public service by muzzling the little chatterbox!”

VEN‘s Senior Canadian Political Correspondent Shreve  MacKensie asked Mr Tory why he has denied the third-place candidate who is currently surging in the polls a seat at the debates.

“I just answered that question.  No one needs to hear what she has to say.  Does she have the Bronfman’s interests at heart?  I don’t think so!”

A flustered Mr Tory refused to respond to repeated questions of why someone who looked a lot like him was seen late at night directing a gang of undocumented Syrian immigrants in stealing hundreds of Faith Goldy campaign signs from lawns and public roadways which were later used to construct temporary housing under the Gardiner Expressway.

“Look, if she wants to run for something she should enter the Miss Universe Pageant or — failing that — get married, move to the States, and run for president of her daughter’s PTA.

“We don’t need girls — especially assertive, devout Christian girls — getting involved in Canadian politics and making trouble for our replacement population.

“Frankly, it’s just unseemly!”

Developing . . . .