VEN (WASHINGTON) — While a frail and oftentimes disorientated President Buttons whose bizarre and increasingly disturbing behavior — including Satanic rants against so-called MAGA Republicans and demands that Americans sacrifice their children to Baal to prevent global warming — have left many Americans — including Democrats — questioning his cognitive abilities, one man, Elwood P. Dowd, believes that the problem is much more serious than advanced dementia.

“The President has become ensnared by a pooka,” Mr Dowd explained to VEN‘s Senior Celtic Shapeshifting Correspondent Dr. Lyman Sanderson.

“Lately, for example, he has begun shaking hands with thin air.  Or so it appears.  But in reality he is reaching out to a pooka that only he can see.

“When he tripped several times going up the staircase to Air Force One, the pooka was actually pushing him from behind.  Playfully at first, and then less so.

“The issue, of course, is if Mr Buttons’ pooka is just a playful, mischievous ice-cream loving pedophile like the President, or — and this is a very real possibility — a nefarious pooka from China or the Ukraine — or worse,  Big Pharma — manipulating the President in ways that are harmful to the American people.

“In other words, we could be looking at a Donnie Darko Frank, and not a Harvey.

“I sure hope that’s not the case, but how else would you explain Jennifer Granholm as Secretary of Energy?”

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