VEN (PANDEMONIUM, PA) — According to VEN‘s Senior Gerontology Correspondent Richard von Krafft-Ebing, elder abuse can take many forms, which — sadly — even in the hyper-connected information age, typically go unnoticed by the untrained eye.
For example, if you take a frail, demented, corrupt, compulsive lying, venal pedophile and deprive him of the things he cherishes most — ice cream, Imodium, and 24/7 access to anime porn and Shirley Temple movies — you can pretty much get him to do anything you want once you shoot him up with a mixture of meth amphetamines and donepezil.
And that, sadly, is what the country witnessed Thursday night when a fractious black-doll-eyed President Joe Buttons perhaps once again high on ibogaine and adrenochrome in addition to his other medications invoked the satanic genocidal powers of Joseph Stalin, Genrikh Yagoda, and Mao Zedung to denounce conservative, patriotic Americans who disagree with his disastrous polices as enemies of the state!
“You filthy MAGATS,” Mr Buttons screamed at one point, raising both his fists in the air, “will be rounded up by the FBI and placed in FEMA camps alongside the Uyghurs in Xinjiang Provence mining lithium for EV batteries with your bare hands, your women defiled, your children sold into bondage until you die off one by one never again able to question the greatest election fraud organization in the history of the WORLD!
“The Juwes are The men That Will not be Blamed for nothing!
“Baal will not be trifled with! Baal will not be denied! Ave Satana! Azazal most feared among the dark satanic powers I call upon you now to smite these feeble patriotic America-first MAGATS and chain their souls to the freezing rocks in the deepest pits of endless despair!
“Helter Skelter! Heil Hitler!
“Rege Satanas, Ave Satanas, Hail Satan! OUR GLORIOUS PRINCE OF DARKNESS!”
People were left mystified by the rancor and satanic references in the speech. Over 1000 cows spontaneously aborted in New York state. At one point during Mr Button’s bizarre tirade Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg burst into tears . . . . of blood!
“While I agree with everything the President said,” General Mark A. Milley told reporters. “I still wet myself. And I’m not ashamed to tell you that!”
Long-time Democrat operatives like Leon Trotski’s granddaughter Nora Volkow thought that perhaps in his zeal to unite the country, the President possibly at certain points may have — unintentionally — overshot the mark.
As one anonymous Washington insider told VEN, “That Baal, Satan stuff was NOT loaded in the teleprompter.
“A few of my parapsychology friends at MIT think that the guy is actually channeling dark forces and — as a result of all the drugs they’ve been giving him, the child sacrifices and so forth rumored to be taking place in the basement of the White House, and for lack of a better term the idiocracy his handlers have created — that the dope may actually have managed to get himself possessed by a demon. And maybe by more more than just one!
“Like the Joker said, this town definitely needs an enema!”
Developing . . . .
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 