More G7 Sturm Und Katzenjammers! Trump Calls Merkel “Lane Bryant Lesbian”?

VEN (WASHINGTON) — Just when you thought nothing could possibly top Justin Trudeau’s brown shoes, argyle socks, and falling-off false eyebrows at the latest G7 Summit, this happens.

On the eve of historic negotiations with NOKO’s Little Big Man Kim Jong-Un, a defiant White House is vigorously denying rumors that President Trump almost derailed the G7 Summit by repeatedly ridiculing the German Chancellor’s appearance and casting unwarranted dispersions on her admittedly ambiguous sexual orientation.

At one point, Mr Trump in an aside to his new BFF Italy’s Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte allegedly remarked that “John Bolton just told me The Three Stooges called, and they want Angela to give Moe’s haircut back.”

Ms Merkel, who was within earshot, reacted violently to Mr Trump’s signature entre-nous, locker room talk, by towering over him like an enraged Alberich and demanding an apology, in the now iconic photograph of the encounter released by the German government.

“The Chancellor is particularly sensitive to the Three Stooges situation,” a German official told VEN‘s Senior World Affairs Correspondent Hans Castorp.

“They are an ingenious — one might even say madcap — troupe of American-Jewish slap-stick comedians whom Ms Merkel greatly admires.”

(As VEN first reported in March of 2017, Ms Merkel is being sued by the Howard estate for haircut copyright infringement. The case is expected to go trial later this year.)

A startled President Trump reacted instinctively by complimenting Ms Merkel on her ensemble, but only succeeded in making matters worse when he suddenly wondered out loud if The German Chancellor bought her clothes in the Boy’s Department at Robert Hall, a budget American clothier popular in the tri-state area that has been closed for several decades.

Mr Trump’s remarks later at his solo press conference further exacerbated the

situation when he referred to his relationship with the G7 members as a “10,” since — according to an aide to Justin Trudeau — earlier in the day Mr Trump — again within earshot of Ms Merkel — asked Japan’s Prime Minister Shinz┼Ź Abe when in his opinion the German Chancellor last fit into a size 10 anything — except of course a pair of men’s shoes!

Developing . . . .