VEN (WASHINGTON) — A giddy over-perfumed former speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), fawned over President Trump after his first State Of The Union Address Tuesday night like a teenage girl with a crush on the highschool quarterback!
“I keep thinking that one day he’ll turn into Hillary. And it almost happened tonight with mandated paid family leave!
“But you know, I was one of the original Soul Train Dancers, and let me tell you — I’d happily do the Shimmy Shimmy Shake on the President’s desk in the Oval Office wearing only a full-body SPANX if he’d agree to roll back the STOCK Act in return for amnesty for all undocumented citizens everywhere in the world. Shithole or no shithole. You know?
“We have to keep resisting!
“It’s funny, don’t you think it is, that both . . . both the . . . the President and Don, Mr Cornelius have the . . . the same first name?! Isn’t it? I think it is! And Don, Mr Cornelius, he once told me Nancy, with the way you shimmy, girl (he would call me girl, which you know was not a problem then like . . . like it is now).
“Nancy for a white girl, you could make a dead . . . a dead man . . . . or was it two dead men? You know, I’m really. I’m not. Why would he be talking to me about dead men? (laughs) I really, I didn’t know any . . . any dead men — none that I can . . . can recall — when I was . . . what a strange thing to . . . to say! When I was . . . was on . . . . Soul Train!
“I was the first white girl dancer, and let me tell you that was really something in 1971!
“So, as everyone knows, we need amnesty now! And I think Mr Trump finally gets it! (Isn’t he wonderful!), because we all kept our seats! At least I hope he does. Hope he gets it. (You know, I think it was just one dead man!)
“My God, isn’t the President just terrific!!”