VEN (BERLIN) — Unable or unwilling to address the growing epidemic of sexual assaults on German women by Third-world Muslim and African immigrants, German Chancellor Angela Merkel appealed for calm, after trickster/hobgoblin Krampus announced earlier this week that he would be turning his attention to rape gangs effective immediately.
In an open letter to Immigrant Rapists in Deutschland published in several German newspapers Monday, Krampas warned that anyone attacking German women during the Christmas Season — especially the New Year’s festivities at Cologne — will suffer a fate “worse than death.”
“Touch one German woman,” Krampas threatened, “and The Valkyries will ensure that you will never eat lamb in Paradise!”
Ms Merkel — already weakened by her inability to form a coalition government and the ongoing lawsuit with the Moe Howard family over haircut copyright infringements — encouraged Germans to ignore Krampas and instead participate in the Adopt a Rapist program over the holiday season.
“Don’t be suspicious of a 37-year-old who claims to be 17 — who are we to judge what is in a man’s heart? Find an immigrant rapist, bring him and his rapist friends into you home, and spend your Christmas with them! Seriously, how bad could it be?”
Developing . . . .