VEN (LOS ANGELES) — On the heels of sexual harassment allegations by four undocumented Santa Helpers earlier this week, Kris Kringle aka Santa Claus is now under fire from presidential hopeful and ethically-challenged quid-pro-quo Willie Brown courtesan Kamala Harris (D-CA) who wants to see the “Jolly Old Elf” behind bars.
“Who he think he is, goin’ into black neighborhoods and sneakin’ into everyone’s house when they sleepin’! What he lookin’ for? Evidence of a crime? Weed? This is the worst example of White Privilege in my lifetime! And it’s happening all over the world! The man is a poster boy for White Supremacy!”
Ms Harris recalled a time when she was 10 years old and wandered into the kitchen on Christmas Eve, surprising Mr Claus as he was just finishing the milk and cookies her parents had set out for him earlier that day.
“He was reading Playboy. And instead of thanking me, he asked me if we had any crack cocaine or Red Bull in the house, called me a little princess, and offered me a job at the North Pole if I would get him another beer!
“I chased him out of the house with a kitchen knife! I can only imagine what happens when he shows up in Liberia or Rangoon!”
While agreeing with Ms Harris that Mr Claus poses a serious threat to the world’s children, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon deferred to his named-successor the former Prime Minister of Portugal, António Guterres to address Ms Harris’s request for UN sanctions after Mr Guterres takes office on December 31, 2017.
United States UN Ambassador, Nikki Haley, could not be reached for comment.
However, when Ms Haley was Governor of South Carolina, she allegedly asked the state’s Attorney General to issue a permanent restraining order against Mr Claus after a five-year-old girl self-identifying as a boy received a Barbie Doll for Christmas.
Developing . . . .