Just For a Thrill, You Filled My Heart with Pain — 26 Years of Joke Coaching Staffs Destroyed Notre Dame Football!

VEN (SOUTH BEND, INDIANA) — Well, the sports writers and casual fans have spoken.

The problem with Notre Dame football is their 21-year-old backup quarterback, and not their incompetent clown-show coaching staff, starting with diversity hire, deer-in-the-headlights, no-head-coaching-experience, mediocre-defensive-coordinator-promoted-to-head-coach and recent-Catholic-convert Marcus Freeman, who during his post-game interview after an embarrassing loss to USC Saturday night at the Coliseum, called his backup QB’s fumble during a handoff in the middle of a critical drive “inexcusable.”

45 degrees during Stanford game — why is this man sweating?

Not the incompetent play calling by Offensive Coordinator Intern Tommy Rees. Not the woefully unprepared defense dialed up by blitz-crazy Defensive Coordinator Al “The Zodiac Killer” Golden, not Coach Freeman’s inability to make necessary in-game changes or halftime adjustments. Or his bizarre penchant for — once again — passing up a field goal for a turnover on fourth and short early in the game.


What was inexcusable was a 21-year-old backup quarterback who’s been screamed at by Tommy Rees all season, forced to adopt an offensive scheme designed for a different style quarterback, given terrible plays to execute, and anathemized by the casual fan who thinks that with a “better” quarterback, the team would have gone 10-2.

It worked in PlayStation!!! DO YOUR F***ING JOB!!!

Who realized that a backup quarterback could destroy an entire program?

And why is he the backup QB?

Because the starting quarterback was knocked out of the Marshall game (the Marshall game??) — a game the IRISH lost! — in the fourth quarter with a season-ending shoulder injury.

Jack Swarbrick overcome with emotion watching 8-year-old girl practice on balance beam.

Note to smug, incompetent Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick — Take off your Elton John glasses. Read Drucker. Read Deming. Go to Confession. Then fire the entire coaching staff and resign.

In other news, LSU fans got their first taste of yet another incompetent IRISH now LSU head coach Brian Kelly and his inability to win The BIG Game, as not surprisingly he was outcoached and his poorly prepared team was outplayed by a 4-7 Texas A&M team Saturday night, dropping LSU from playoff contention after Michigan’s blowout victory earlier in the day over Ohio State.

As Kelly was fond of saying when he was losing important games at Notre Dame and criticized for his incompetence masquerading as football genius, “get used to it.”

Get used to it — the Clown Face of Notre Dame football personified.

Kelly’s legacy in Baton Rouge will be forever sealed next Saturday when LSU is humiliated by Georgia in the SEC championship game.

If Kelly has a dog, he should probably shoot it before the LSU alumni do. Or put it up for adoption before the Georgia game.

And finally, from VEN‘s perspective, it would be a delightful kind of poetic justice if LSU ended up playing Notre Dame in the HASBRO PLAY-DOH COLLECTIONS Fingernails on a Blackboard Bowl in Waveland, Mississippi on January 30th — an all-Kelly dystopic event where both Kelly and his former defensive and offensive coordinators outdo themselves making terrible decisions and then blaming their players for their own incompetence.

Davie, O’Leary, Willingham, Weiss, Kelly, Freeman . . . .

Ara, Stop the Pain!