Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, Turn and Face the Strange! Is the Squad Transitioning?

VEN (WASHINGTON) — Dissatisfied with not being taken seriously by the infamous Patriarchy they so abhor, in a classic if-you-can’t-beat-em-join-em moment, the so-called Squad — a loosely-knit cabal of shrill, frequently entertaining, anti-American, IQ-challenged congresspersons of color (CoP) — announced Thursday that with the exceptions of cross-dressing Charles Barclay impersonator Ayanna Pressley and Jamaal Bowman, who in real life is a black man disguised as strong black woman disguised as a man, they will all be undergoing top and bottom surgery to change from cis-gendered women that no one takes seriously to trans-gendered he-men that everyone MUST take seriously — OR ELSE!

Would Elizabeth Warren use a penis responsibly? 98% of VEN readers say no.

As Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the teeny-tiny fiery big-booty Latina with the little girl voice told VEN‘s Senior Washington Congressional Correspondent Myra Breckenridge, “Elizabeth Warren was right — if she had a penis, she’d be president today.

“Well, we’re all getting penises now, so look out!”

According to anonymous sources, the Squad had been considering the controversial move for several months, finally deciding to pull the trigger when the Magnus Hirschfeld Institute for Sexual Research and Automotive Repair in Hoboken, New Jersey offered them a group rate, a balloon, and a coupon for 10% off on post-op hormone treatments if they referred a friend.

In a stunning congressional machination that would put Mitch McConnel and Nancy Pelosi to shame, they all decided to refer each other!

“I’ve frequently been compared unfavorably to Mr Ed,” the future-former Alexandra soon-to-be Alex Cortez explained. “Well, now I’m going to BE Mr Ed!

“So to all you white-supremacist haters out there, just deal with it!”

Developing . . . .