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VEN (WASHINGTON) — North American Man/Boy Love Association spokesperson Magnus Hirschfeld announced late Wednesday that the much-maligned pro-pederasty organization  had in fact purchased Hunter Biden’s gargantuan Diversity sculpture — the size of at least an entire International Boy Scout Jamboree, an ecstatic Mr Hirschfeld  told  reporters — for a record 2.5 million USD, and are currently working with Biden administration Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg for its permanent placement on the National Mall.

“Every time I look at it,” Mr Hirschfeld gushed tearfully, “I fall in love again!”

But “looking at it” or just trying to look at it for an ordinary person poses some rather serious problems, since — as one critic pointed out to a recalcitrant  Mr Hirschfeld  — the reputed work of art by the President’s son is — invisible! 

Not so fast says Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), whose husband —  financier, gigolo, and inside trader extraordinaire, Paul Pelosi — recently purchased a controlling interest in the Ukrainian company earmarked to build the solid titanium platform to support the massive sculpture.

“You, uh, you might, you know, say well, I, I personally can’t SEE anything!  There’s nothing you know THERE!  But then at, at the end, the end of the, the day, seriously — what does, does that really say about YOU?!”

 “Hunter held a mirror up to life. I think its breathtaking!”  a strident Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez chirped to reporters inside her Tesla outside the Chevy Chase Whole Foods, while her purse and ponytail handler, Riley Roberts,  nodded in agreement.

“When I look at it,” Shirley Jackson-Lee remarked, “I see my seafood meal!”

But when District of Columbia mayor Muriel Bowser looks at it, she sees a beacon of affirmative action hope and opportunity. 

“I will be asking Congress to set aside 5 billion dollars for people of color from The District to serve as guides and lecturers on critical race theory, as well as the creation of a special Diversity Sculpture Black Lives Matter Honor Guard to protect this one-of-a- kind, priceless work of art from attacks by white supremacists, Republicans,  the Daughters of the American Revolution,  coal miners,  dairy farmers,  Avon Lady Representatives,  military veterans,  women named Dorothy, and other far-right European-heritage neo-colonial white Christian cis-gendered terrorist organizations!”

Developing . . . .