The Atlantic Roastin’ Part Two — Former White House Aides Insist Trump is Insane!

VEN (WASHINGTON) — In a shocking follow-up to his recent anonymously-sourced expose on President Trump’s chaotic and dangerously erratic policy making, The Atlantic EIC Jeffrey Goldberg declares war on the White House.

“Several  former highly placed administration and Pentagon officials went off the record with me about their belief that President Trump is in fact the reincarnation of Hitler,” Mr Goldberg told VEN Thursday.

“Look — the first time we had four anonymous sources, now we have ten, actually ten-and-a-half if you include the president’s son-in-law.”

Among the new revelations:

  • Trump repeatedly told aides that “the ungrateful kikes” like Sheldon Adelson were driving him crazy, and that we “screwed up very badly” in WWII.  “If we’d given Hitler just two more years,” he yelled during one cabinet meeting, “we wouldn’t have this goddamn Black Lives Matter and Antifa problem today!  Or f***ing Goldman-Sachs!”
  • Although proclaiming his high regard for African Americans in public and on the campaign trail, in reality Mr Trump hates black people.

“They’re lazy, they’re violent, and they don’t work.  Plus you can barely understand a word they say.   In my second term we’re going to do what Lincoln wanted to do and ship them out to North Korea.  Kim said he’d take 5 million.  The rest we can send to Venezuela or maybe Greenland.  Tell these countries you don’t play ball with us, you don’t give concessions to the US and Trump International, we’re sending you our Negroes!

“With the money we save on welfare alone — never mind prisons — I’ll balance the budget in two years!”

  • He repeatedly criticizes the military, and claims that most generals are gay.

    “You look at these guys, I mean really look at them, and you can tell they don’t like women.  And I don’t mean you know like me in a misogynistic way.  I mean these guys would rather I don’t know spend a weekend in Key West with each other or Dom Deloise than a night at say The Estates at Trump National with Tina Louise!”

  • He does whatever Putin tells him to do.

At one budget meeting, Mr Trump shocked everyone by suddenly asking what a good price for Alaska would be if maybe we wanted to sell it back to the Russians.  When reminded that Alaska is a state and not for sale, Trump became enraged and screamed “Everything’s for sale, including you, including me!  Just get me a f***ing price and I’ll do the rest!  And Jared, Mike —  maybe throw in a few cases of Eskimo Pies. Let’s say 30,000, OK? Talk to Kamila Singh, she can help out with that.”

The White House issued a brief statement denouncing Mr Goldberg and the latest so-called expose as more fake news, calling him a “disgrace to journalism” and demanding that he identify his so-called anonymous sources.

Meanwhile, in a series of tweets Thursday morning, Mr Trump encouraged his followers to ignore “the failing, fake news” Atlantic and “hack reporter and professional liar” Bob Woodward’s “book of lies,” and instead “get ready” for a “very important”  hour-long no-holds-barred first-ever live interview he’ll be doing with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on CNN Friday night.

Developing . . . .