Brides Lives Matter! Rise Up And End The Violence!

VEN (ROCHESTER) — Jane Prude was a beautiful, happy 23-year-old bride to be, until that fateful day in March when she put on her birdcage veil during a wedding gown fitting after dropping 15 mg of PCP to, as her mother told VEN, “take the edge off.”

Stop me before I kill again! Bridal veil asphyxiation (BVA) bigger killer of women than SUVs and selfi-sticks combined!

Suddenly she began to gasp, she said she couldn’t breath, she tried to rip off her veil and gown, but instead of helping, the seamstress ignored her and repeatedly told her to calm down or the hem would be uneven. Enraged, she grabbed the seamstress, threw her twenty feet across the room, then began to foam at the mouth and collapsed. The bridesmaids were hysterical. The Maid of Honor called 911, someone began performing CPR, but it was too late. When the EMTs arrived, Jane was dead. The Medical Examiner ruled the cause of death as flammeum cape (bridal veil) asphyxiation.

Rochester Mayor Lovely Warren was both angry and apologetic Saturday, as she addressed the multiple failures that led to the death of Ms Prude in March.

“Ms Prude was failed by our police, our mental health care system, our society, our bridal gown industry, and by me,” Warren said at the outset of her remarks. “And, for that I apologize to the Prude family and all of our community.”

The seamstress was put on administrative leave, and the mayor banned bridal veils in Rochester “until we can figure out what’s going on.”

But Brides Lives Matter organizer Dorothy Cauldwell-McMaster was not appeased.

“How many more young beautiful women like Jane have to die from bridal veil asphyxiation until we say enough is enough? BVA is real, BVA is misogynistic, and BVA is killing brides! Every. Goddamn. Day!”

Despite the mayor’s pleas for calm, sporadic rioting and demonstrations broke out overnight — the bridal shop where Ms Prude died was burned and looted, as was Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s and Lord and Taylor, while Macy’s was defaced with anti-BVA graffiti, a local brokerage had its windows smashed, and Atlantic Avenue was littered with mismatched Pendleton Wool ensembles.

Developing . . . .