VEN (MANCHESTER) — Confirming the worst fears of Dr Anthony “Max Vax” Fauci, the smallest town in the Granite State — Blodgett Landing, New Hampshire, population 101 — stunned the world late Tuesday by reporting that over 10 million residents have died so far of the Wuhan Coronavirus!
The neo-malthusian virologist — known affectionately on K Street as Little Big Pharma Man — and who recently received the coveted Sir Charles Trevelyan Lifetime Achievement Award from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for his seminal work with population-limiting vaccines — told reporters early Wednesday that he is not surprised.
“Facts don’t lie. 10 million might sound like a big number. But imagine if this were New York City, which has a population of what about 9 million? I mean you could be looking at over a BILLION deaths there by April! And that’s a conservative estimate!”
Dr Fauci said he would speak to the President immediately about the urgent need to suspend the Bill of Rights and force everyone into Fema Camps in Arizona and New Mexico, where their social distancing could be effectively monitored by trained TSA agents with yard sticks and measuring tape.
“And of course everyone must be forced to take the new Proto-Covid-19 cherry-flavored experimental vaccine that we’ve been working on in our bio labs at Camp Detrick, Maryland, day and night for months now, and which does NOT — and I want to stress this — the vaccine does NOT cause encephalitis!
“In fact, there are NO know side effects!”
Developing!
VERY ERSATZ NEWS 