Si Se Puede — Pelosi, Schumer, McConnell On Cartel Payroll!

VEN (LOS ANGELES) — As a smiling Joe Biden took the stage at another raucous fund raiser in West Hollywood Thursday to the familiar strains of Maurice Chevalier’s Thank Heaven For Little Girls,   a man with ties to a major Mexican drug cartel was detained by US Border Agents outside of El Paso, Texas, with 25 underage girls he claimed were his sisters and cousins,  seeking political asylum in the United States.

Their destination?  West Hollywood, California.

“He told us to call Nancy Pelosi,” one agent told VEN‘s Senior Deep State Correspondent Jefferson Smith, “and handed us his cell phone with Ms Pelosi’s number on speed dial.  He said Make sure you tell her Pancho says hi!

“Not only did the Speaker vouch for this man, but she sent her husband’s private jet to pick up the girls, who were all given diaphanous Brittany Spears slut-wear outfits to wear.  Many were crying and begging us to let them return to Mexico, but there was nothing we could do.  That’s what we deal with here.  Every goddamn day!”

VEN also discovered that Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) — another soft on illegal immigration Democrat — has a 4.5 million-dollar estancia on the ocean near Puerto Escondido, Mexico that was paid for in Swiss Francs from an offshore account in the Cayman Islands traced to a certain Carlos ReMuhcs of Brooklyn, New York, who apparently does not exist.

And Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY)?

“The Chinese built this guy a compound in Guatemala that would make Quetzalcoatl’s head spin,” a senior Mexican official told VEN.  “They supposedly have human sacrifices when the Senate is in recess and the Senator, or El Tortuga as he is known there is rumored to have frequent sexual encounters with goats and the larger flightless birds — or so I have been told.  And the wife — Madre de Dios! — she is supposedly worse!  Dios Mio! This is why the people are fleeing — and who can blame them?!”

Developing . . . .