VEN (NEW YORK) — Shemp Howard/Jan Miner love-child and laughably unfunny host of jejune uber-smug liberal unmovable larpfest Real Time With Bill Maher, shocked no one yesterday when he emerged unrefreshed from a 32-hour closeted pseudo-pedophiliac half-Catholic/half-Jewish/half-Mormon half-rave at an all-you-could-eat classic spirit-cooked stem-cell-infused pedavore  buffet catered by  notorious Comet Pizza habituees and egregious foreign influence peddlers Tony and John Podesta (while Cher and Hillary and AOC and Huma Abedin were scissoring transgenderdly on a half cotton/half polyester half/queen half/king-sized sleeper sofa) at Trump-Deranged Jerry Nadler’s upscale down-low upper East Side pied a terre to announce smugly that President Trump was — well — guilty of not being guilty.

“That’s funny, you fu^^ing  reactionary dried up old whore!” Mr Maher  told a shocked elderly passerby.  “And it’s also TRUE!  That’s why it’s so fu^^ing funny!”

The woman — confused and disoriented —  stopped and stared at a gloating Mr Maher, while her outraged husband tried — unsuccessfully — to hit Mr Maher with his cane.

“Hey, Nancy Reagan, turn up your fu^^ing hearing aid!  You bump into me one more time with your fu^^ing walker, and I’ll knock you on your bony old Barry Goldwater-loving osteoporosis ass!

“Yeah, you heard me!  That’s right, granny! Go ahead, cry!

“These f^^king  conservative c^^ts!,” Mr Maher told reporters, shaking his head.  “I mean, they’re so stupid, when they go camping the bears hide their food!”

Developing . . . .