VEN (BALTIMORE) — A non-cis-gendered female Hartford County man who self-identifies as a lesbian claims that he was denied entry 
to the Little Sisters Of Limited Mercy order because — according to the Mother Superior — his “pulchritude” might become a potential distraction to the other nuns and novitiates.
The convent denies the allegations.
“Not only is this man self-identifying as a lesbian, which is fine with us,” convent spokesperson Sister Mary Hitler explained to reporters Sunday.
“And yes, she/he is more attractive than the average devout lesbian we normally recruit at softball games and roller derbies and our Janet Napolitano smokers, as we like to call them.
“But a larger issue is that she/he is a cis-gendered Protestant who is now self-identifying as a Catholic.
“And we were willing to work around that.
“But the deal breaker for us was not her/is looks or that fact that s/he’s not really Catholic. The real issues was that despite sher/is many cis-gendered physical advantages, he/she is — unfortunately — not very good at softball.
“And we need a second baseman who can turn the double play and hit for power.”
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