VEN (WASHINGTON) — In a 5-4 decision late Monday, following the swearing-in ceremony of justice Brett Kavanaugh at the White House, the Supreme Court ruled that they would move to Trump Tower immediately to begin what many believe are deliberations on overturning the 22nd amendment and denying free birth control to Lesbians.
Citing egregious grammatical inconsistencies in the wording of the 22nd amendment, specifically around the use of the un-cis-gender-specific term person, Justice Gorsuch allegedly argued in a brief before his fellow justices Sunday that the 22nd amendment — which restricts a president to two terms in office — be declared null and void, thereby paving the way for President Trump to become Emperor of the United States of America for Life, as predicted by Democratic-Socialist Alexandra Octavio-Cortez three years ago after a heavy night of drinking tequila shooters with fellow socialists in the Bronx.
“We knew this was going to happen,” an angry Diane Feinstein told reporters from her VIP booth at the exclusive Huawei China Dragon restaurant in San Fransisco Monday night.
“But the larger issue here is not that the SCOTUS is making it possible for Trump to become emperor. That was a foregone conclusion once Justice Kavanaugh was confirmed, and that’s why we did everything we could — legally and some say illegally — to obstruct his confirmation.
“The larger issue is that not only will women under this Supreme Court in all likelihood lose the right to vote. And that’s just shocking!
“But — as incredible as it sounds — my Chinese staff tells me that now that Trump controls the Supreme Court, he will tell the NFL — and I got this straight from Peking — either stop kneeling immediately or I’ll instruct the SCOTUS to bring back Jim Crow!
“I mean good God! This is like living under a Chiang Kai-shek regime!
“Sadly, that’s where we are right now in America, and that’s why we’re working so hard day and night with the DNC, FBI, CIA, the Department of Justice, WAPO, and CNN to find another Dr Ford to come forward immediately so that we can impeach the entire SCOTUS if necessary before it’s too late!
“And failing that, we will continue to help our Chinese allies by obstructing the Trump Administration in every way possible, until such time that Peking can finally figure out how to get us back in power again!”
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