From Sex Doll To Senator — Chris Murphy’s Amazing Transformation!

VEN (CAMBRIDGE)VEN‘s Senior Robotics Correspondent Miles Monroe spent some time with two google AI executives at the annual MIT International Android Forum Friday, when a relatively routine discussion on the future of robotics took a very strange turn.

VEN — Wait a minute — did you guys just say that Chris Murphy, the senator from Connecticut is an android?  You’re kidding, right?

Mitch — (laughing) Well, technically he’s a V-1.4 Tyberious model, originally designed as a pansexual “pleasure doll” which we were planning to sell into the ASIAPAC market.

Randy (breaking in) — But then we were hanging out at my place smoking some totes killer OG Kush and watching Parks and Rec on NETFLIX and the episode with the robotic politician came on, Congressman Murray.  You know, when Ben’s working in Washington?

Mitch— And we thought, WTF — we can do that.   Can we do that?  We should do that!

Randy — So we reworked some old algorithms, developed some new ones,  added a slower chipset, and the net net was our own AI version of Congressman Murray.  We called him ‘Chris Murphy’!

Mitch —  Yeah. Then we worked with the Wikipedia guys to create a fake profile, Debbie Wasserman hooked us up with the Awan brothers to get him plugged into the DNC . . . .

Randy — Literally plugged in! (laughs)

Mitch — Right, literally plugged in!  Also, that’s where we got his talking points.

Randy — Which we augmented with our top 10 progressive search results.

Mitch — Right. And then using our proprietary data mining tools, we ran the droid for senator in Connecticut.

Randy — And we f*cking WON!

Mitch — Yeah, we totally f*cking won! We couldn’t believe it!

VEN — That’s incredible!

Mitch — Yeah!

VEN — So, how many battery packs do you use to prevent him from running down?


Randy — Dude, the guy’s not a TESLA!  We couldn’t have him overheat and explode or burst into flames on CNN!

Mitch — It hasn’t been announced yet, but we’re using super capacitors.  One three-hour charge and he’s good for days.

VEN — So Senator Murphy is actually an android developed and controlled by google?

Mitchgoogle and some others who shall remain nameless, yes (laughs).

Randy — Dude, seriously — was there ever any doubt?

Developing . . . .