Hello, I Must Be Going! Another VEN Exclusive Interview With Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez!

VEN (NEW YORK)VEN‘s Senior Political Correspondent Jorge Burns ran into Democratic-Socialist rising star Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez at her favorite Starbucks in Rye Brook Monday for this VEN exclusive interview:

VEN — Thanks so much for meeting with us.

AOC — My pleasure! Isn’t it like so GREAT the way they get the foam so high on their double cappuccinos! I really LOVE this place! Did you Uber here, too?

VEN — Alexandra, if you don’t mind, could we talk for a few minutes about your recent Casey Stengel award?

AOCDios Mio! Such an honor! And like so totally unexpected!

VEN — Casey was way before your time, did you know who he was? Did you have to research him?

AOC — Oh, yes! He was a great manager of a baseball team from the Bronx. My grandfather thought very highly of him both as a baseball man as well as a famous train engineer!

VEN — I think you’re confusing Casey Jones with Casey Stengel.

AOC — Not at all! And I think you are the one who is confused! Casey Jones runs that conspiracy website that was just deplatformed — and you know you can quote me on this — the deplatforming? It was like totally long overdue! Even though I am not a fan of ICE, they did the right thing this time!

VEN — That’s Alex Jones, not Casey Jones.

AOC — Come on, Mr Spalding. I may be only 28, but even I know that Alex Jones was the cute guy in The Monkees.

VEN — That was Davy Jones. Davy Jones was a Monkee. Alex Jones runs Infowars.

AOC — The Star Wars guy? He’s the guy that got deplatformed? O. MY. GOD! I didn’t realize that! I just LOVED those movies! Why would President Trump DO something like that??!!

VEN — George Lucas wasn’t deplatformed. He’s fine. He’s still. He’s fine.

AOC — That reminds me, I have a niece that has three feet!

VEN — What?

AOC — Well, I just got a letter from my aunt Inez. She said I wouldn’t recognize little Maria, since the last time you saw her she’s grown another foot!

VEN — Alexandra, did the maid ever drop you on your head when you were a baby?

AOC — Don’t be silly, Jorge, we couldn’t afford a maid. My mother had to do it!

And you know, people say I talk a lot now. But I was so surprised at being born that I didn’t speak for a year and a half!

VEN — What do you say to people who criticize your intelligence and say that you’re often confused?

AOC — Well, I don’t like to brag, but smartness runs in my family. When I went to grade school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years!

And for people who say school isn’t for them, I’d just like to say I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade!

VEN — Say goodnight, Alexandra.

AOC — Goodnight, Alexandra!