“All Right Everyone, Line Up Alphabetically According To Your Height” — Ocasio-Cortez Wins Coveted Casey Stengel Award!


VEN (NEW YORK) — “I am like SO HONORED!” an uncharacteristically speechless, self-proclaimed Democratic-Socialist Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez told reporters, after accepting The Casey Stengel Award For Public Speaking Excellence at the El Club Cubano Interamericanol in the Bronx Sunday.

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“You have no idea how special this is to me! Dios Mio! Such a great man! My grandfather used to quote him to me when I was a little girl! And I have a recording of his testimony to the Asamblea Legislativa!

“This was a man who was APPOINTED, not uh-lected! Which Oh my GOD! It like gave him GREAT POWER! He could say things like There’s two things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or you can tie. And then, of course, when you are losing, sometimes it can rain!

“I’m like I can’t believe that! I actually have that tattooed on the inside of my left LEG — in BLUE ballpoint INK!

When asked what Casey Stengel quotation is her most memorable, a serious Ms Cortez answered immediately without thinking — Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa!

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“That is as TRUE today as it was then! And of course — for me personally — I would have to say that my favorite quote by Senior Stengel — who, like my grandfather, was a proud Puerto Rican man from San Juan — is, my favorite quote is, They say it can’t be done, but sometimes that doesn’t always work.

“I’m like just Wow, you know? That someone could be that wise and so old at the same time! It’s like just SO AMAZING! And to think he was for free healthcare, open borders, and a guaranteed income from the State way back then! Oh. My. GOD!

“It’s like we are soul-sisters or something across an, an . . . INTERNATIONAL . . . rainbow of . . . TIME!