VEN (WASHINGTON) — Openly-closeted, intellectually-challenged, affirmative-action activist senator Corey Booker (D-NJ) told reporters Tuesday that he is drafting a Final Cut constitutional amendment, making it mandatory for actors, entertainers, and professional athletes to have the final say on all legislation, executive orders, and Supreme Court decisions during a Republican Administration.
“We need to reclaim our values!
“We are a nation of checks and balances, and as everyone knows, you can’t write the check unless you have the balance to cover that check. Otherwise you are committing a crime!
“Any bank teller will tell you that because that’s their job — to tell you if you don’t have the balance to cover the check you want to write. That’s why they’re called tellers.
“Right now — under President Trump — we don’t have the balance we need to write the checks we need to write, so we got to get that balance up — way up, as far as the eye can see up, we’re talkin’ an eight ball of Peruvian Flake up — before we can write the checks that need to be written!
“Does that make sense to y’all?
“And that’s why we need this amendment.
“You’re Rob Reiners your John Legends your Golden State Warriors, your LeBrons — we need them front and center! Then we can tell that teller Yo bitch, get out mah way! No need to check my balance — I OWN the muthaf**in Bank!”