VEN (LOS ANGELES) — In the wake of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s surprise nomination Monday of Kim Jong-Un for the Nobel Peace Prize, virulent anti-Trumper Congresswoman Maxine Waters (D-CA) has nominated Special Counsel Robert Mueller and disgraced anti-Trump FBI Counter-espionage Agent Peter Strzok for the Pulitzer Price, VEN has learned.
“When I read the first three pages of the redacted IG report by Mr Horowtiz,” Ms Waters explained to reporters Friday from her revamped headquarters in Deray’s House-Of-Waffles-An-Y’All-Krunk-Bitches on South Broadway in Los Angeles, “I knew I had to act. And thank you Jesus — the good people of Sweden heard my cries for justice!
“These fine patriots — Mueller and Strzok — they were working day and night — sometimes skipping lunch, sometimes skipping breakfast — to prevent the racist, white-supremacist takeover of America by a reality TV star who grabs women and people of color by their you-know-whats, calls black people Curley and Moe, wants all people of color deported to Wakanda, and has yet to release his tax returns!
“Obama received the Pulitzer for the hope he brought into the world! This man Trump is hope-less — an illegitimate President who thinks all black people should stand for the racist National Anthem or be imprisoned for life!”
Meanwhile, Congressman Hank Johnson (D-GA) — who in 2010 expressed concerns that a potentially overpopulated military base on Guam might cause the tiny island to tip over and capsize — is calling for an emergency Congressional hearing to investigate the risk that lower black unemployment — a hallmark achievement of the Trump Administration — poses to global warming, which — Mr Johnson fears — could result “in a much flatter Earth that may be too long and too spread out to get full sunlight in 20 years.”
Developing . . . .