Kris to Kylie — The Only Way This Works Is If You Become A Man, Baby!

kylie babay daddyVEN (HOLLYWOOD) — As more rumors fly that Kylie’s new baby Stormi was fathered by her Asian bodyguard Tim Chung and not boyfriend Travis Scott, Mother Kris gave her slatternly daughter a  terrifying Kardashian Ultimatum — if the baby is Tim’s, Mommy wants you to lose your lady parts, convert to Islam and become Ali Muhammad Kyle Kardashian!

“But Mommy,” Kylie was overheard to say at Sugarfish Saturday, “what about all my clothes and banging  black athletes and rappers and the slutware and shopping and stuff?”michelle obama

“You can still do all that.  Now pay attention — Mommy is f***ing serious!

“To seal the deal, Kylie, after you begin your ‘double conversion,’ we’re gonna start a rumor that your real father is Michelle Obama, which should absolutely kill for us during sweeps week!

“Now stop crying,  and start reading the f***ing Koran Mommy bought you!  That is of course unless you don’t want another Bentley, your own thot clothing line,  and a glass house in Malibu!

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