VEN (LOS ANGELES) — White House officials are vigorously denying a viral Internet rumor that hawkish neocon and allegedly bitter transgendered homophobic National Security Advisor John Bolton is devising a covert plan to deploy a Special Forces Drag Team in West Hollywood “to teach those fairy, candy-ass Hollyweird commie-loving queers what it means to f*** with MAGA and the Trump administration!”
According to anonymous sources in the NSA, Mr Bolton has repeatedly told the President that if he routs the gays in West Hollywood, he can avoid a land war in Santa Monica and still bring the film industry to its knees.
“Bolton’s also been pushing for a small, contained tactical nuclear strike on Disney Land and Knott’s Berry Farm (Operation Sneezy), to seal off Anaheim and prevent the gays from moving South.
“The plan is to coordinate everything on Grindr, and then blow up the Pacific Coast
Highway south of Santa Cruz and bottle up the gays near Carmel.”
However, the President needed assurances that The Dapper Dans — whom Mr Trump reportedly refers to as ‘good guys’ — would not be injured in the attack, which ultimately sent a frustrated Mr Bolton and his team back to the drawing board.
As one senior White House official told VEN, “Bolton never got over the ridicule he took in 2006, for his first action against the gays, when he got a Special Forces guy who looked like Tom Hanks to dress up in a white sailor suit and attempt to lure the entire gay population of Key West onto an Albanian fishing trawler headed for Peru.
“He’s a miserable guy. I mean who transitions to a woman in his teens, refuses the hormone treatments, and then grows an Otto Von Bismark mustache, hangs out in leather bars, and dresses like a man?
“The guy’s out of his mind. First Syria and now this? What the f*** is he doing in the Trump administration?”
Developing . . . .