VEN (MALIBU) — Can we talk?
It’s another sunny day in beautiful Southern California, but inside mega-star Barbra Streisand’s breathtaking Oceanfront Estate at Point Dume in Malibu grey clouds and mist seem to fill the air.
“It’s not that, you know, I wanted to be sexually harassed or assaulted,” a verklempt Ms Streisand explained to VEN‘s Senior Celebrity Shande Correspondent Rhoda Morgenstern. “I mean God forbid I’d want to meet someone who isn’t a balebatisheh mentsh — that would be just, well, you know, totally fakakta!
“Maybe it has more to do with the hashtag. Of feeling like you belong to something important. Or this crazy schnozzola! I really don’t know.”
Ms Streisand was referring to an interview she recently gave in which she stated that — unlike the aggrieved actresses in the #MeToo movement — she herself had never been “sexually mistreated” during her career, because — unfortunately — she “wasn’t like those pretty girls with those nice little noses.”
“But what about your so-called mystery man,” we asked her. “Your Mr Calabash? The tall, blonde, brash, aggressive, loud, slightly boorish entrepreneur from New York who — as the rumor mill would have it — made you dress up as a man, smoke cigars with him at his private club, and engage in edgy S&M fantasies that became the basis for the movie 9 1/2 Weeks, as well as your own inspiration for Yentl?
“Wasn’t that a form of abuse? Maybe even sexual abuse?”
“You know, I think about that meshugana zaftig putz almost every goddamn day,” an angry Ms Streisand replied. “And not in a good way.”
“But I’ll tell you something. That kasnik nebish — he was the only man I ever met who really made me forget this farshimmelt schnozz of mine.
“He made me feel like a goddamn shiksa!”