VEN (NEW HAMPSHIRE) — Crossed the American border illegally, mocked and derided for their so-called limited intelligence, indolent, illiterate, refused to learn English, ate bizarre and unappetizing cuisine, required an inordinate amount of public assistance, high rates of drug and alcohol addiction, dressed funny, worked in construction with no understanding of level and plumb, chided for routinely blowing up their propane grills and setting their apartment complexes on fire, inveterate chain smokers who routinely spend over 65% of net income on scratch tickets, enamored of fake gold chains, large fake gold rings and fake gold watches, and who insist on driving used Grande Marquis with torn Landau tops or oddly-custommized Cameros with ubiquitous Little Trees air fresheners hanging from their rear-view mirrors.
DREAMERS from Mexico or Central America, you ask? Pas de tout!
Try again, Monsieur! Et Monsieur, next time, with the bigger hammer!
According to Sociologist Rene Levi-Strauss from McGill University, the original DREAMERS were French Canadians from Quebec who migrated to America in the mid 19th and early 20th centuries after the bull frog and rabbit populations had been hunted almost to extinction in Sherbrooke, Montreal, and Quebec City.
“These were bad times. Children were growing up in French Canada who had never seen a rabbit in the wild or an étang de grenouille teeming with life! Then, of course, there was the Great Squirrel Famine of 1902-1904.
“Times were very bad in French Canada.
“So with nothing left to lose, the Frenchmen headed south, swarming into America by the hundreds of thousands to work in the mills along the Connecticut and Merrimack rivers.
“Later they became drywallers and muffler repair men. One even became Jack Kerouac.
“And — like today’s DREAMERS — they suffered the relentless abuse and derisive stereotyping from white Americans of English and Irish descent that unfortunately persists to this day.
“Yet to their credit — despite all that adversity and the years spent working in the mills — the French Canadians not only endured, they prospered!
“So if the much-defamed French Canadians from North of the Border could overcome discrimination and make it in America, then why not today’s equally defamed DREAMERS from South of The Border?
“Americans of European descent need to realize that just like everybody else in the world, Mexicans and Central Americans deserve American citizenship, regardless of merit or consequence.
“It’s basically their right as human beings!
“And seriously — who could possibly argue with logic like that?”