VEN (PARIS) — Flattered by his frequent comparisons to failed former openly-closeted gay US President Barack Obama,  sexually ambiguous  Roman God-like French President Emmanuel Maricon expressed his frustration Wednesday at not being able to find an appropriate migrant representative to surrender France to.

“Am I  supposed to travel from town to town, city to city looking in every bath house for the correct migrant person of authority there to surrender to?  This is impracticable.   This is not Haiti or Senegal for god’s sake!  This is France!

“I want to surrender France just once, unconditionally, to one migrant — an Imam perhaps, le plus grand legume, preferably slender, well-toned,  interested in learning new things, and clean shaven; beards are a definite turn off!  — so I can get back to my important work at Radio France with my good friend Mathieu Gallet.”

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