VEN (ATLANTA) — As the pubic feud between former MAGA pals Steve Bannon and President Trump intensifies, Truth-Challenged CNN’s Wolfe Blitzer reports an unverified story Thursday that a drunken Mr Bannon — exasperated by Jared Kushner’s feckless insistence that his family’s troubled property at 666 Park Avenue be designated the New Executive Office Building — stood up and mooned Mr Kushner during a strategy session in the Oval Office.
“Mr Bannon not only mooned the President’s son-in-law,” an anonymous source told CNN.
“That would have been bad enough. But after dropping his Dockers and pulling his eyelids back to affect a mock Oriental expression, Mr Bannon began shaking his naked behind back and forth and taunting Mr Kushner by yelling Tell numba one sistah she should ahh get her f***ing Chinnee frens to invest 500K in THIS, Mr Perfect! You likey that?! You goddamn Progressive crypto-Bolshevick Soy Boy piece of SH!T!!”
“An enraged Mr Kushner threw his half-eaten Zweibeck at Mr Bannon, hitting him on his thigh — at which point General Kelly cleared the room.”
Mr Bannon’s supply of Lagavulin was later confiscated by the Secret Service, and the next day he was fired.