VEN (BRUSSELS) — After a 35-year-old Syrian migrant child complained of mistreatment by a Parisian Gendarme while he was attempting to defecate next to I.M. Pei’s glass Pyramide du Louvre, Donald Tusk, President of the European Council — citing the EU motto In Varietate Concordia (United In Diversity) — called on France to immediately close the iconic museum in a show of good faith.
“The EU migrant replacement population needs open areas in public places to relieve themselves,” Mr Tusk explained to the international press Monday.
“And — more important — as followers of the True Prophet, they are offended by the plastic arts, which they feel are haram and an insult to Islam.”
Aside from shuttering art museums, the EU’s Special Council On Accommodation and Replacement is calling on its member countries to consider ending wine, beer, and spirits production, the raising of pigs, and to consider repurposing Cathedrals as multi-cultural “meeting places,” offering Turkish coffee, msemen, falafel, kebabs, and a warm and relatively secure “safe space” for migrants to go to the bathroom publicly surrounded by family and friends.
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