Swee’Pea To Resign From 9th Circuit!

VEN (SACRAMENTO) — Another cartoon family is rocked by sexual harassment charges,  as Swee’Pea — the lovechild of Federal appellate Judges Popeye and Olive Oyl  — announced Monday that he stepping down from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, effective immediately.

As one anonymous court watcher told VEN‘s Legal Reporter Algonquin J. Calhoun, the 9th Circuit was the only federal appellate court to have not only two generations of cartoon characters actively serving, but all three from the same cartoon family.sweepea

Swee’Pea,  who legally changed his name to Alex Kozinski in 1984, was — according to friends  — a rambunctious little scamp who overcame a devastating congenital speech disorder (until he was 15 he could only say Glop!) and a penchant for punching anyone who had trouble understanding him, to graduating from UCLA Law School and clerking for Judge Alan Parker before eventually joining his mother and father on the 9th Circuit Court.

“Were this a Hillary Clinton Presidency,” CNN Legal Analyst Judge Constance Harmthe jeep-2 told reporters Monday, “we could expect that she would nominate  fourth-dimensional transplant Eugene The Jeep to replace Kozinski to preserve the Popeye inner circle and the liberal tendency of the 9th Circuit.

“However, that is unlikely to happen in a Trump administration.

“Not surprisingly, Mr Trump is rumored to be leaning towards either Popeye nemesis Bluto or Alice The Goon, although  moderate Republicans are lobbying the President for  centrist judge J. Wellington Wimpy, despite his many ongoing  financial difficulties.

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