Breaking — President Obama Hired Gay Lover As “Body Man”?

VEN (Provincetown) — In a shocking revelation, several anonymous sources told ABC’s chief investigative correspondent Brian Ross that former president Barack Obama and his personal assistant Reggie Love were in fact homoerotic lovers at the time Mr Love was hired to work for Mr Obama.

“They would take showers together, play hide and seek in Mrs Obama’s walk-in closet in the residence when Michelle was traveling, and hold hands in the Oval Office and Rose Garden when they thought no one was looking.

“They also took several vacations together, were rabid fans of Ricky Martin, and would dress up in Michelle’s evening gowns and lip sync to Mr Obama’s extensive Judy Garland and Liza Minnelli record collections.

“Mr Obama also allegedly gave Snapchat creator Evan Spiegel several millions of dollars — apparently funneled through the pay-for-play Clinton Foundation — to develop a smart phone application that would support short-lived, self-deleting photographs, so he and Mr Love could exchange X-rated selfies.

Mr Ross reports that the affair came to an abrupt end when Mr Love refused to convert to Islam after being caught in the sauna with the former President by a none-too-happy First Lady, who demanded that Mr Love resign or agree to sexual reassignment surgery.

The cover story they put out was that Mr Love would be leaving the White House to attend the prestigious Wharton School of Business, although anonymous sources contend that Mr Obama and Mr Love continued their affair for another 18 months, meeting frequently at Camp David and a McDonald’s parking lot in King of Prussia.

Developing . . . .