VEN (WASHINGTON) — While statues of Columbus, the founding fathers, and Confederate soldiers are being defaced, covered up, or removed from public view citing their offensive, overtly racist celebration of white-privilege, the DC Council Committee of the Whole voted earlier this week to erect a statue of disgraced, crack-smoking, philandering, felonious criminal former mayor Marian Barry in front of the Wilson Building on Pennsylvania Ave.

Designs for the statue varied widely,  with one showing a 20-foot tall saintly figure gazing out over the District with an expression of celestial compassion, flanked by the winged, angelic figures of Trayvon Martin and Freddie Gray, while another depicted a large black man sitting on a hotel bed groping a woman’s breast while smoking a pipe of crack cocaine.

After agreeing to award the project to sculpture Steven Weitzman, Council members are currently debating whether or not the statue should be made out of granite or copper, with advocates for the latter arguing that whereas granite is less expensive, copper would allow District residents — during times of economic distress  — to “forage” parts of the statue to sell for PCP, heroin, or crack cocaine which — they contend — would help reduce muggings, burglaries, convenience/liquor store armed robberies, and prostitution, and make the statue a living legacy of the former mayor’s largess.

Developing . . . .