BREAKING — Lolita’s Humbert Humbert Based On Roy Moore!

VEN (PARIS) — A former editor at Paris-based Olympia Press, Claire Walter — who also assisted Hillary Clinton with her latest election retrospective, What Happened —  told reporters late Friday, that in 1957 author Vladimir Nabokov confided in her that his inspiration for the controversial novel Lolita was a  charming and urbane hebephile from Alabama named Roy Moore.

“Mr Nabokov told me that he met this man Moore — who later became the model for Humbert Humbert  — at a Shoney’s BIG BOY outside of Montgomery, Alabama in 1953,  during one of Mr Nabokov’s summer butterfly-collection excursions.

“Mr Moore was in a booth with a beautiful little 14-year-old girl that he referred to as My Little Lola.  She was wearing a pair of red-framed heart sunglasses and had lovely blonde hair held in place by a little white bow.

“Mr Nabokov used to say that she reminded him of a little perverse Madonna, and that Mr Moore was captivated by her.

“Mr Moore began their conversation by asking Mr Nabokov if he was a detective, and when Mr  Nabokov assured him he was not, Mr Moore then apologized and explained that men in the American South who intended to devote their lives to public service, only dated girls before they turned 15,  after which they are ruined, an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, dégueulasse.

“He went on to explain that he had what he called a harem of adorable little nymphets between the ages of 12-14 that he would ply with ice-cream, alcohol and sleeping pills, and that he was afraid that 40 years later when he was a federal judge running for the US Senate, they would come forward at the last minute to reveal their relationships with him in an attempt to derail his campaign.

“He was — Mr Nabokov told me —  a  man obsessed with the fear of being found out, which fear —  ironically — only served to further inflame his self-destructive passions!

“And now zut alors! all these many years later — as life once again appears to imitate art — this real-life Humbert Humbert’s worst fears have in fact finally come to pass!

“For Monsieur Moore, la vie est vraiment drôle!

Developing . . . .