VEN (MEXICO CITY) — The Cartels were not happy when their bumbling soldier — the mysterious Mandalay Bay Security Guard Jesus “Jose” Campos (known as El Tonto in his native Mexico) — brought them what he thought was the hard drive from Las Vegas shooter Stephen “Mad Dog” Paddock’s laptop — which Mr Campos allegedly took from Mr Paddock’s hotel room after shooting a restrained Mr Paddock at close range twice in the back of the head

Unfortunately for Mr Campos, however, the hard drive he presented to the Cartels contained a series of holiday photographs and Instagram/Facebook posts from a 14-year-old girl staying in the next room, and was not from Mr Paddock’s laptop — a fatal strike-three mistake for the unlucky Mr Campos, who was immediately garroted and his body dismembered and then burned along with the worthless hard drive in a field 20 miles outside of Juarez.

As anonymous sources tell VEN, it now appears that someone as yet unidentified threw Mr Paddock’s hard drive out of one of the broken windows in his 32nd-floor Mandalay Bay hotel suite, which landed fortuitously in the shopping cart of a homeless man who was sleeping on the sidewalk in front of the hotel.

Early the next day — finding the disk on top of his shopping cart — the anonymous homeless man pawned it,  but the pawn shop — unaware of its provenance — listed the hard drive on eBay, where it was apparently bought by Stephen Paddock’s estranged brother Bruce,  who was later arrested in West Hollywood on charges of possessing child pornography.

As for the Cartels, they dispatched a much smarter — albeit  heavier (some say at least 40-50 pounds heavier) — Jesus Campos Version 2.0 back to Las Vegas, where he remains incommunicado.

Developing . . . .