VEN (LOS ANGELES) — Congresswoman Maxine Watters (D-CA) is calling for the removal and destruction of Ted Williams head, which was cryogenically frozen after the white-privileged baseball great and last player to hit over .400 died in 2002.
“This man played on a racist team, in a racist city, and his head was filled with racist thoughts against Koreans, Japanese, and other people of color. We do not want him cloned and returning to baseball any time soon!”
Senator John McCain (D-AZ) agreed.
Battling tertiary syphilis at his multi-million-dollar ranch in Sedona, the conservative leaning Progressive Senator issued a statement Wednesday calling for an investigation into the legality of freezing a head in Arizona.
Alcor Life Extension Foundation which froze Mr Williams head is located in Scottsdale, AZ.
“We don’t need another alt-right fascist white supremacist wacko bird coming back to life. Not on my watch,” Mr McCain told reporters late Wednesday.
“Williams hated the Japanese, hated the North Koreans, and from what friends have told me, was vehemently opposed to what he called darkies playing for the Red Sox, because — in his mind — black baseball players were lazy, hopped up on drugs, and — instead of practicing — spent an inordinate amount of time in the clubhouse jitterbugging and experimenting with exotic hair straightening products, unctions, imported perfumes and whatnot, in the mistaken belief that those things would make them irresistibly attractive to overweight, amply-bosomed blonde white women, such as Joan Blondell or my daughter Meghan.
“While I would never under any circumstances condone violence, I’ll just say that if I were 60 years younger and a member of Antifa, I’d break into that neo-Nazi cryogenics lab, blind any Nazi who got in my way with bear pepper spray or acid, find the container holding Mr Williams frozen head, and use my stick or baseball bat or 2×4 with nails sticking out of it — or failing that, my soda can filled with cement — to smash that un-American frozen head to smithereens!”