Shark Apologizes For Biting Surfboard, Claims It Was One Big Misunderstanding

VEN (NEWPORT BEACH) —  The great white shark who goes by the unflattering name of El Gordo Del Mar, told reporters Thursday that he apologized to surfer Bobby Gumm personally for taking a huge bite out of his surfboard over the weekend.

“I thought eet was a boogie board, which of course as a shark I detest.”

However, Senior Del Mar denied  reports that tensions between surfers and Great Whites have been escalating recently in the wake of  Michael Phelps announcement that he will race a shark live on TV.

“Of theese I know nothing, nada,” Senior Del Mar told VEN’s  John “Turtle” Philbin.   “But tell me — why would God want a shark to race a man?  Eese unnatual. phelps-sharkAlthough, from what I understand, El Tiburón– who is a close friend of my cuñado — is currently a 2-1 favorite, and would not surprise me eef — si Dios quiere — the odds rise to say 10 or even 12-1 before the 23rd.”