Uber Self-Driving Van Bursts Into Tears After Late-Night Traffic Stop

VEN (TEMPE) — After getting kicked out of San Fransisco, Uber’s driverless vans are getting a second chance in Tempe, Arizona, with mixed results.

Just ask the Tempe Police Department.

uber-carAfter running a red light in downtown Tempe late Sunday night, a headless Uber van was pulled over by police.  As the officers approached the van, the van began blinking its headlights and then started “crying” over the sound system,  telling the officers in-between sobs that she was sorry she ran the light, but it was her birthday,  and she just had a big fight with her boyfriend after she caught him in a parking lot alone with a bright red Maserati convertable with low-profile wheels and “slutty trim.”maserati

“The Uber van we pulled over,” a Tempe Police Officer told VEN,  “said the boyfriend — a BMW — told her he and the Maserati  were just friends, but they were parked way too close to be friends, apparently, and then the Maserati honked its horn at her, at which point she took off at high-speed, tried to sideswipe the Mazeratti, and eventually ran the red light on Mill Avenue.

“It was weird.  The van’s crying and talking to us over the sound system, but no one was in the van.  We felt sorry for her.  She’d already had a pretty rough night.  So we told her to calm down, pull herself together,  and then we let her go with a warning.”